To each his own
I’ve been on this SCH support group page since I was first diagnosed way back when. It’s through Baby Center and hundreds of women follow it in hopes that our support can magically heal our SCH. And most women on the board think they know more than their doctors.
I understand that desperation, as clearly, I was there once, seeking out the group. But if I’ve learned anything over the course of my pregnancy, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop the SCH from a.) forming and b.) healing. It just is what it is and that’s all it is. A nuisance, a scare, and sometimes the cause of a miscarriage. But I’m pretty convinced at this point that the SCH doesn’t necessarily cause the miscarriage, rather, it was a doomed pregnancy to start with.
Take me for example. I’ve done all the things I normally do with minimal changes due to pregnancy in general and I’m doing just fine for now. Some other women on the board are on strict bed rest, no lifting ANYTHING, no sex, no moving – just to pee, showering once a week and just trying to remember to breathe – and then sometimes they lose their baby.
I’m a huge advocate of knowing your body and knowing your limits. If you do that, then it’s easier to know what you’re capable of in any situation.
I guess I’m a bit of an anomaly since I know when I’m pregnant without even taking a test. I’m super in tune with my body, like it or not.
So any how, I’m never going to tell someone to do something they don’t feel comfortable with, especially during pregnancy with complications. That said, a few weeks ago, a woman posted on the board saying she had stopped bleeding, she felt great, SCH was still there, but she felt more confident. She asked the group their thoughts on her doing yoga, after her doctor said it was fine.
They ripped her apart.
How dare she even think to do that. How can she be so selfish? It’s only 9 months! Give up your body for 9 months! Don’t do anything but breathe! Drink water! Put your feet up!
Sure, she should have known better than to ask them, but still. It was uncalled for.
To say I got irritated would be an understatement. I privately messaged the woman and told her my tale and she appreciated it a lot. She was so put off by those women and their attacking like nature, she felt like the worst gestating mother ever.
Today, I wrote on the board, to give hope to those women out there who are like me. Here’s what I wrote:
Hello! I was diagnosed at 12 weeks with an 11 cm sch on three sides of baby (so basically three times the size of baby at the time.) my doctor, who has recorded awards from the UPMC system (a number 10 hospital in the US, so she knows her stuff.) kept me calm, in check and safe during this. I did one week of soft bed rest, about 8 weeks of pelvic rest, but when I stopped bleeding about two weeks after, I began doing life as normally as I could. I have three kids aged five and under, I am a nurse, and I teach fitness classes (including spin and core.)
I’m not saying jump in and ignore the sch, but for me, personally, had I continued to not do anything my depression would have gotten way worse and I would have further jeopardized baby. I did what my body said I should do and that’s all any of us can do.
I’m posting this because if it gives someone hope to know that I went back to normal life, spinning and weight lifting and all, and still have a normal, healthy, thriving baby at 32 weeks, maybe others can, too. I technically graduated at 30 weeks, but I hadn’t had an ultrasound between weeks 18 and 30. So who knows when it really resolved.
Having an sch is scary. I won’t lie. It’s what I had to do for me, and I don’t feel guilty. I’m proud of all of us for doing what we feel we should do. This is hard! So hang on, stay strong, and in a few weeks or months, we’ll see those beautiful babies.
We can’t live in a hole, people. Yes, it’s only 9 months. And yes, we probably should be a little less selfish, but honestly, the mind is a powerful thing and to take away something you love so dearly, when clearly you’re healthy enough and your doctor is on your side, it could be detrimental. When I had PPD, it tore me apart. Worse than any illness or injury ever has. It nearly broke me.
I’m not ever going to tell those women to be quiet. It’s what they need to do to make themselves feel better. And I get it, because we feel so very out of control and if that’s the only thing we feel like we can take control of, so be it.
But please don’t push it on others.