Out of either sheer stupidity or forgetfulness, I had forgotten to take my Celexa for 3 days straight. I took it last night, but by then, it was too late.
It all began last night an hour after I went to bed. Luca decided to get up every hour on the hour. Since Matt is out of town, welp, looks like I’m solo for each call.
I woke up this morning all happy and determined to make the day the best possible. I had several crafts planned and fun things to keep the mind occupied, but that was shot to shit when both the kids started screaming at me 15 minutes after they all woke up.
It got better when Luca took a nap and Claire and I could work on the project, involving paint, which always makes Claire happy.
But then enter the night. Luca refused to take his third nap and was therefore exhausted. Making and eating dinner consisted of me constantly going upstairs to attempt to soothe Luca while leaving Claire to eat dinner alone. That sentence alone makes me want to cry. My little girl should not have to eat dinner alone. But she did, and didn’t complain.
So there I am, sitting in the dark, attempting to rock Luca to sleep while he’s screaming at me, and I say to him, “Why are you still crying?” This made him open his eyes up wide and scream louder. Then I started to cry.
I kept thinking to myself if I don’t get out of here I’m going to break in half. Seriously. In half.
And for a brief moment I had a glimpse into my former crazy self, because for just a moment, I was my former crazy self. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it was a few months ago, but daaaaamn. So not right.
I did just get a smile, though. Claire is talking to Matt on the phone and she said, “Bye Daddy,” while trying to stick the phone up her pant leg. Not down, but up. Then she hung up on him.
I’m fine, really. It was just a really abnormally long day.