an open letter to hunters

Dear hunter(s) dangerously close to my house:

While yes, I am sure that your hunting helps with possible over population of deer in Allegheny county and keeps your family well fed through the winter, oh and you can’t forget the bragging rights…when I can clearly hear gun shots over my kids screaming, that means you are TOO CLOSE.

Forget the fact that I live in a housing development that is on a hill over the turnpike and the only real woods around here surround the trailer park and brick factory, but are you serious? I know there are deer in the woods because, yet again, last evening another one ran out in front of my jeep. (So not cool, by the way.) However, I have never seen anything but doe and the fact that she was running past the scrap yard says she’s getting smart as that is private non-huntable property.

Now you’re making me make up words.

I am not anti-hunting. Let’s get that straight. My father in law and brother in law are avid hunters. I believe my brother in law has a very large gun cabinet in his basement that costs more than my car. (OK, not that much, but it’s big, shiny and has a huge lock on it.) It brings them happiness, and one of these days they’ll get a buck. I just don’t want to be there when they skin it and such.

And yes, I was in the Army, therefore I was supposed to kill people, or something to that extent. But I didn’t. If I had to, I would have, but I didn’t. However, the Army never told me I had to kill deer 500 feet from someone’s house, now did they? Nope, didn’t think so.

*BANG* (in real time, no less)

See, now, I haven’t even posted this yet, and still the shots are getting louder. So not cool.

So hunters, if you could please, find a nice piece of land that isn’t inhabited by humans so that we can ensure a Dick Cheney incident doesn’t happen.

Someone wake me up when hunting season is over, ok?

Oh, and orange was so last season.



About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on December 3, 2009, in Cassie, Over Dramatic and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Have you considered returning fire?

    “OMG… the deer are armed! It’s Armagheddon, boys…”

  2. That close to the highway, they are much easier to hunt with your car.

  3. Oh, my parents have this very same problem. It’s only a matter of time until the dog gets shot in the rear or a bullet comes through our breakfast-room window.

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