Winner at 4 o’clock!
After reading That’s Church’s Random n’at, she ended it with this winner listed above. Might I take a moment to dissect the photo?
1. I would find this photo much more impressive if he was holding that cowboy hat up without his hands, if you know what I mean. That way I could get a much better gauge of what we’re working with here.
2. He prefers fat chicks who are desperate. Doesn’t really speak much to his character or skills in bed.
3. He should put a prerequisite that he has no STDs since we’re supposed to be ‘prepared to take it bare.’ Perhaps he could also scan in his latest doctor’s exam showing how healthy he, I’m sure, is.
4. His brother may or may not drop him off. Does that sound like a three-some?
5. Now, I find it kind of sad that his Mom would drop him off. I mean, seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to have your MOM drop you off at some random chick’s house so you can get laid. Not just some chick, but a ‘fat and desperate’ chick.
6. If the chick who answers this is smart, she’d answer the door butt ass naked and drunk. Saves you from all the unpleasantries.
7. Then again, if this chick is smart, she would have bought a top of the line vibrator instead. Medical bills to be treated for VD are quite pricey these days.
8. I’m not even going into the uncircumsized issue. Makes no difference to me. However, I guess I could say that I’m proud that he loves it? I’m sure he has had to learn to, since boys these days can be so cruel and I’m sure he’s gotten crap for it. And when he says, ‘all this extra foreskin…’ does he have more than the average uncircumsized man? I really, don’t want to know. Really.
9. Wait, wait. I just re-read it. His MOM will pick YOU up. And take you back where, exactly? And, again, how sad is it that his mother has to pick up his dates. This poor fool deserves to do the walk of shame.
10. This is just wrong. So very, very wrong.