I eat my sugar cereal, but it makes my teeth bacterial
I spent the early morning cleaning. I spent the late morning cleaning. I spent the early afternoon cleaning.
So, in an effort to feel normal again (I’m not huge on the cleaning deal) I’m compiling a list of my favorite shows as a kid.
I was, as you call it these days, a couch potato. And I did it in style.
Best. Show. Ever. I can still sing the theme song in my head: “Do-do-do do do-do do-do-do-do-do!” And who wouldn’t want a best friend named Skeeter? And a totally over dramatic older sister.
But the real reason Doug was so freaking awesome? The Beets. If you will, please listen to the following video:
“I don’t eat…t-t-t-t-t too much fried food! YAH!”
A song with a purpose. And educational.
2. The Secret World of Alex Mack.
I mean, it’s a Secret World. She got covered in some toxic goo and ended up being able to do such cool stuff. I mean, she could stare at an object long enough, it’d come to her! I mean, sure, in the same amount of time she could get up and grab it, but where’s the fun in that?
When I was a kid, I’d wish I could be cool like her. Nevermind that when she’s 80 she’ll probably have some crazy-mad disease, she never had to get up if she didn’t want to. I’m not that lazy, but when I’ve spent the good half of the day cleaning, it just sounds pretty fantastic.
3. Are You Afraid of the Dark
Carly and I would watch this together. It was a part of SNICK which was simply awesome. We’d pop popcorn and attempt to creep ourselves out. My favorite story had to be the one where this kid keeps seeing this boy, and it turns out that he died when a car he was in went over a bridge into a river-like thing. But no one ever knew what happened to him, and no one ever found the car. Sure, this river-like thing was about 10 feet deep, a car could easily be hidden in that. And he wouldn’t stop appearing until they solved the crime as to where he disappeared to! Genius!
(My favorite SNICK pre-requisite was when we’d go to Pizza Hut and have Personal Pan Pizzas. Anyone, anyone?)
I found this show to be the gateway drug I needed into loving shows like MTV’s Fear and Ghost Hunters. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE SHOWS.)
4. Salute Your Shorts
Who wouldn’t want to go to a camp where you have a complete nimrod of a councilor who wears white sunscreen on only his nose? And there’s only, like, 10 campers there?
Favorite episode? I love the one where Donkeylips and Sponge want to enter a wrestling contest in order to win a Lobster dinner, but Donkeylips weighs too much and Sponge needs to bulk up. So, of course, Donkeylips does all kinds of ridiculous things to lose weight and Sponge eats…you guessed it, bananas. And lots of them. But, of course, they want burgers, but that’s contriband! So they have to sneak to buy them, and money leaks out of their pockets! This, then, leads Ug (the councilor) to them, but they manage to escape…with the burgers.
Amazing show. Simply amazing.
5. Hey Dude
Lastly, this nugget. I’ll let Wikipedia do the synopsis:
“A transplanted easterner, Mr. Ernst, is a good-natured but somewhat bumbling dimwit with glasses, a slight build, and a receding hairline. He bought the Bar None Dude Ranch seeking escape from his high-pressure job as a New York City accountant. His son, Buddy, was displeased with the change of locale, primarily because he couldn’t skateboard on desert sand. Buddy had a pet dog named Cassie. Featured early in the series, Cassie disappeared after the first season.
The staff originally consisted of two boys and two girls. The boys were Ted, an enterprising troublemaker, and Danny, an easy-going Hopi Native American. The girls were girl-next-door Melody and rich girl Brad, from Grosse Pointe, Michigan, who often wore dressy designer outfits at work, but was a very competent horse-rider. Her love-hate relationship with Ted was a plot thread during the first half of the series.
Ted later left the show for a time and was replaced by Ernst’s nephew Jake, an eccentric slacker who likes to play the drums. Not long after, Kyle, a dim but handsome cowboy type, joined the cast. Soon after that, Ted came back from summer school, and he and Kyle became romantic rivals for Brad.”
Now, isn’t that a perfect kids show? Carly loved this show the best.
But really, who thinks of the names? I mean, does Cassie sound like a good dog name? (Don’t answer that.) And Brad, for a girl? Melody? Wow.
I miss that show.