what is wrong with people?

I was just over at Leela Fish reading her latest blog about baby bumps. And can I just ask, why are people so stupid?

First of all, we all know how I feel about people touching my belly while pregnant. Just don’t do it. Or ask. But why just grab?

But in Jessica’s situation, it’s what people say. Why is it that when you’re pregnant, you’re suddenly a magnet for all kinds of unsolicited comments? Does it make the person feel better about themselves saying, “Wow, you must be starving your baby! You’re so little!” or “I would have never guessed you’re already that far along. Is the baby growing?” Or for some, “Wow, you’re huge! Are you sure you’re not having twins?”

Here’s a fact that these people may not know: women who are pregnant typically are paranoid enough to begin with. If I wake up and don’t feel the baby move within even 10 minutes, I chug a glass of juice. I get nervous when I bonk my belly off of a counter or something, thinking I’ve caused brain (or butt) damage. And don’t get me started on the whole sex during pregnancy thing. While it still happens, I’m nervous.

So when people make these ridiculous comments do they realize that they are causing the Mom to then agonize and question and ridicule themselves? It’s not very fair if you ask me.

Now, I try my best to ignore people, but when I get comments like these, I tend to overreact and go crazy. How dare someone judge me, especially when you don’t know me. I’m doing the best I can. My body wants to do what it wants to do. And the only opinion I care to hear is from my OB. She tells me to tell people to just shut up. I love my OB.

In Jess’s situation, having someone roll their eyes at her after saying she’s entering her third trimester is just plain wrong. And distasteful. And what makes me most upset about it is that this woman works in a friggin’ maternity clothing store. Don’t act like you’ve never seen a pregnant person before. Because I’m pretty positive that pregnant people buy pregnant people clothes.

Just yesterday at work, someone asked me how far along I was. Now, to me, that’s a fun question anymore, because the reaction on their faces are pretty much priceless. I’ll say I have 4 weeks left and they look at my belly, look at me and look back at my belly. I then say, “There’s really a baby in there. It’s not a tumor.” I also love that question, because up until about a month ago, people were almost afraid to ask, thinking maybe I just had a fat midsection. I’d watch people eye up my legs, arms, butt, then stomach and I could just see the wheels in their brains turning thinking she’s pretty much thin everywhere else, is she pregnant? Then I’d say to them, “It’s OK, I’m pregnant, you can ask.”

To all the women out there like Jessica and myself who get these ridiculous comments, I hear you. And I empathize with you. Some people clearly have no filter what-so-ever and when I get rude comments from people, I simply take them as compliments. Why? Because I figure, they’re jealous. At least that’s what I tell myself. And that’s what I’m sticking with. If it helps me to sleep at night and know that I’m not a neglectful mother (because I’m not,) then so be it.

The bottom line is: people suck. They think that they can do whatever they want and no one will say anything about it. They think that it’s OK to not think in general and hurt others’ feelings. Whether they mean to do it or not is up for debate, but still, it’s done. It’s unfair. It’s mean.

In 4 weeks, I’ll be a proud Mama to a little baby (insert gender here.) And I can’t wait. And the baby will probably weigh the most out of all of my other kids and I can smile and say, “SEE!?!”

But mostly, my baby will be healthy and happy and loved. And in the grand scheme of things, isn’t that all that matters?



Claire weighed 6 lbs 13 oz and was 18 inches long.

Luca weighed 7 lbs 11 oz and was 20 1/2 inches long.

About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on January 9, 2011, in Cassie and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Seriously, only a complete douche nozzle would let something like that fly when you tell them you’re pregnant. Jesus. What is WRONG with some people?

    Personally, I never say ANYTHING about ANYONE being pregnant unless I have hard evidence that they are. I’ve been burned by that too many times.

    • Yes, and really, a woman holding her stomach isn’t indicative of pregnancy. I learned that the hard way.

      I’d love to know what people are thinking when they say what they say. I mean, sure, everyone is entitled to their opinions, but some are best left to themselves.

  2. I’ll tell you what I commented to Jessica… when someone says something inappropriate to you, go full-goose batshit crazy on their ass. You have the perfect excuse/get out jail free card…

    “Sorry, it was the hormones talking.”

    You may never get another opportunity like this…

    • See, I’d LOVE to do that, however, most of my comments come from patient families at work. So I really can’t…since I’m sort of paid to be nice and appeasing. So that’s what I remind myself: you’re. getting. paid.

  3. Thank you for your support Cassie! It makes me feel so crazy sometimes, a mix between “You crazy person you!” and “Wait, maybe something IS wrong.” It messes with your head, even though it shouldn’t. The paranoia is already so bad. This morning I was moving my belly around in an attempt to get her to start the moving. Every day I worry, what if?

    And it’s like boundaries just come down for people when they learn you’re pregnant. The space invasions, personal questions and general invasiveness never cease to amaze me.

    I love when my friends ask how I’m doing or feeling, but the comments from co-workers and strangers. Yikes!

    So glad there are people out there like you who make me feel great about myself!

    • And just remember, some days baby Sarah will be lazy and some days she will be extra mobile. And as you get bigger, she’ll slow down. I try to remind myself that, but it’s just so much easier to remind someone else. The paranoia is horrible, isn’t it? And it doesn’t stop once the baby’s out. Soon, you’ll be checking her to make sure she’s breathing, especially after she just slept an hour longer than normal.

      I still check on my kids every night to make sure they’re still breathing. And in all honesty, I think MY Mom does every chance she gets, too.

  4. People are dumb. And everyone should remember what our moms taught us, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” especially to perfect strangers. Ugh.

  5. You know my take on this. Since you can’t go crazy on people, maybe just break down and cry. That was a suggestion of one of my commenters.

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