What every new mother needs

I’m not a new mother. I’m not really an old mother, either. I’m kind of an in between, been there – done that mother. However, today, while in the shower, I realized that when all my babies were born they were given all kinds of gifts. Clothes, blankets, booties, strollers, whatever. Mommy on the other hand…I’m sure I got something. I’m sure of it. But right now, my mind is blank. I KNOW I got something. Really. I did. But right now, I’m claiming P-brain and can’t remember.

Anywho, typically, it’s the baby that is showered with gifts and the Mom is showered with spit up. I know a gift for the baby is a gift for the Mommy, but still. So this time, being as it’s probably my last time, I’ve been subtle about the fact that I. Want. A. Gift. From Matt. A gift from my husband. I send him little e-mails, ideas, thoughts, hints, thesauruses. And if that’s not subtle enough, I send him e-mails saying, “This is what I want when I birth our baby. You know, when a baby comes out of my body and I’m sore, tired, cranky and a touch off base? This is what I want.” And I’ll send a link along side of it. I’ve given him plenty of variety to choose from. Many options. I just, more or less, want something that says, “Hey, wife of mine, mother of my children, you’re freaking amazing, so here’s a cute tee shirt.”

I’m not asking for diamonds.

I’m definitely not asking for sex.

I’m asking for a small gesture that says, “I care.”

So, while in the shower, I thought to myself, I HATE CLEANING THIS DAMN SHOWER. And what do I hate more than cleaning that shower? Cleaning that shower pregnant. And what’s even worse? After. When the baby’s napping and all you want to do is sleep or lay down or just stare at the wall but that dirty-ass shower is upstairs, taunting you. And bending still hurts, your joints are all lax and cleaning sucks…

My husband works a lot of hours. When he comes home, the last thing I want him to do is clean. Because I want him to entertain the young ones. I want to lay on the couch and I want him to entertain the heathens. So I don’t make him clean. I don’t ask him to clean. And I certainly don’t expect him to clean. (He does it anyways, except toilets and showers, which always irritates me, but there you go.)

So back to being in the shower, it dawned on me. A MAID! A MOTHER EFFING MAID! I need a maid. I don’t need a maid, but I’d like a maid. For just a month or two. Sure, I don’t like people in my house that I don’t know, especially since the dog barks and is annoying… and I kind of find it unfair to make someone else clean my grossness, but they signed up for it and get paid a pretty penny for their hard work. And they clean showers.

I can vacuum. I can dust. I can do all that fru-fru stuff. But bathrooms and kitchens? Yah, no. Not high on my priority list.

So here’s what I’m thinking. There should be a law passed that says all mothers of infants should go home with their new baby, an information packet and a maid. It only makes sense. Right?

No? Damn.

I’ll just take that tee shirt, then.

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on January 11, 2011, in Cassie and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I second having a housecleaner. I’m serious. We had one when Gabriel was born. Can I tell you what a load off that was? To not worry about having to clean the house? Ours was sooooooooo amazing and sweet. There are a lot of good ones and once she comes into your house once, she won’t be a stranger anymore. Seriously. Do it. Have someone come in once a week or even once every two weeks to do the heavy duty stuff. Mama, you will have your hands full with three, three and under. Do it.

    Aw, hell, I’m sending Matt an email about this now… don’t you think I won’t! Haha!

  2. Go, Emily, go!!! She totally needs a maid!
    -Carly

  3. I vote that motion gets passed as a law, complete with insurance funding for said housekeeper.

    Also, it’s good you’re giving him overt suggestions, otherwise you might end up with a toilet seat. 😉

  4. There is absolutly no reason why you can’t have a maid come one once a week or so… They’re really not that expensive. (At least they weren’t in the 90s.) I predict the problem will be giving them up.

    (They’re especially cute in the little black and white outfits.)

  5. The Guy and I have suspended our housecleaning service for the next several weeks (there’s no point, as our home will basically be a construction zone), but I’ve already told him that’s one item we’re never striking from the budget as long as we can possibly afford it.

    Granted, my house is no doubt smaller than yours, and I live in a small city where the cost of living is low, but the service we use charges $65 every other week, so we pay $130 a month.

    (And every other week is perfect if you don’t mind cleaning up after yourself a bit but don’t like doing the nitty-gritty chores.)

    Most services charge more on their initial visit, though – for instance, ours charged us $85 the first time they came and $65 for all subsequent visits.

    • I can only imagine what the price is. Where my Mom was living at, she paid 35 dollars a visit, but would hand her a 50. Still – that’s cheap! I’d love very much to have someone come every other week, but you know, nap times, dog barking, pandemonium…

  6. You should totally get a maid for a few months. Since we both work, we have a woman come every other week just to vacuum, damp mop, dust, clean the bathrooms, and empty all the waste baskets. Only costs us $60 every other week. And that’s because we have voluntarily given her raises each year. Well worth it if you can fit it in your budget.

    • Yah, I mean, I just need someone who will do the big cleaning. I can handle the vacuuming and dusting, but I need someone to get the nitty gritty. I should be more into that, what with little ones around and such, but that’s the beauty of being able to close a door.

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