IA: Insomniacs Annoymous
Day three of the no sleep binge. Personally, I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve kept my cool and haven’t flipped out. Yet. My patience has its limits, you see. And it’s beginning to wear thin.
Yesterday I very nearly lost it when Matt called me at work all sing songy asking me “What-cha doen’?” and I knew what would follow would make me upset. I love my inlaws very much. But when you’re huge, incredibly pregnant, sore and tired, the last thing you want to do after working is entertain. Or perhaps that’s just me. Thank God they’re forgiving, because I showered, put on my jammies and parked my ass on the couch. And parented from the couch. And drank chocolate milk from the couch.
They bought take out from Max and Erma’s. I really shouldn’t complain.
I sent a text to my biffles Nicole out of desperation. If you remember, she’s typically my go-to person for Phone Calls of Desperation. The text was short, sweet, and to the point: It’s two in the effing morning and I’m wide awake. Only two good things happen at this hour: sex and cake. I experienced neither.
The saddest part? If I did have cake, I still couldn’t eat it. There’s no more room. I baked some delicious cookies a few days back and I can’t even bring myself to cause myself extreme uncomfortableness in order to enjoy them. (I think I just made up a word and over used myself in that last sentence.)
But, there is a silver-lining here, folks! I realized I have never spent my itunes gift card my Mommy got me for Christmas. Since about 10 last night, I’ve been planning what songs I wanted to download and I thought of a whopping four in 5 hours. During which I spent staring at our ceiling fan, which reminded me I needed to dust that.
The four songs I downloaded:
1. Spoon – Underdog
2. Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man
3. Matisyahu – King Without a Crown
4. MGMT – Electric Feel*
*And don’t act like you don’t like that song. It’s awesomely trippy and borderline pornish. And that’s without drugs!
So here I sit, at 3:37 AM, listening to:
All along the western front
People line up to receive
She got the power in her hand
To shock you like you won’t believe
Saw her in the Amazon
With the voltage running through her skin
Standing there with nothing on
She’s going to teach me how to swim
All while bobbing my head.
Because that’s what sane people do at 3:39 AM.
Sing it with me now!
Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Turn me on with your electric feel
I should probably make my grocery list for today. But you know what? I don’t feel like it and the song told me I don’t have to:
Do what you feel now! Electric feel now!
So I’m going to listen to my four songs and bob my head and wonder WHY IN THE HELL I’M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY TIRED.
Which reminds me of a common phrase in our house, “Bobbin’ it.” That’s when Claire wants to listen to Bob Marley.
She’s so cool.
And she knows most of the lyrics to “Three Little Birds.”
I need to think of more songs. I have lots of money to spend.
The problem with this is that I’m now a Pandora addict. I have about 10 stations, all within reasonable taste, and all varying on my mood.
I have The Black Keys Radio for when I’m cooking. Justin Timberlake for when the kids want to dance and Lady Gaga’s station is too sweary for their little noggins. Black Eyed Peas when I just don’t give a shit that there’s swearing. (And yes, I’m aware you can remove of explicits, as I did this last week.) Ray LaMontagne Radio for when I’m feeling mellow or eating dinner. David Grey Radio when I’m trying to relax. Mat Kearney for when I’m tired of David Grey (blasphemy!) or just sick of hearing John Mayer whine. Jason Mraz for anytime, because really, any time is Jason Mraz time. And Fiona Apple when I’m feeling PC and chick pride.
Which brings us to 3:49. Wait, wait, 3:50.
I really need to think of new songs to download. I’m running out of things to do because my sewing machine is in our bedroom and I think that would upset Matt to see that his wife has gone completely manic. I’d be in there, rocking back and forth singing, “Stitch the lines, stitch it straight. Stitch the lines or it won’t be great.” (Which I totally just made up.)