IA: Insomniacs Annoymous

Day three of the no sleep binge. Personally, I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve kept my cool and haven’t flipped out. Yet. My patience has its limits, you see. And it’s beginning to wear thin.

Yesterday I very nearly lost it when Matt called me at work all sing songy asking me “What-cha doen’?” and I knew what would follow would make me upset. I love my inlaws very much. But when you’re huge, incredibly pregnant, sore and tired, the last thing you want to do after working is entertain. Or perhaps that’s just me. Thank God they’re forgiving, because I showered, put on my jammies and parked my ass on the couch. And parented from the couch. And drank chocolate milk from the couch.

They bought take out from Max and Erma’s. I really shouldn’t complain.

***

I sent a text to my biffles Nicole out of desperation. If you remember, she’s typically my go-to person for Phone Calls of Desperation. The text was short, sweet, and to the point: It’s two in the effing morning and I’m wide awake. Only two good things happen at this hour: sex and cake. I experienced neither.

The saddest part? If I did have cake, I still couldn’t eat it. There’s no more room. I baked some delicious cookies a few days back and I can’t even bring myself to cause myself extreme uncomfortableness in order to enjoy them. (I think I just made up a word and over used myself in that last sentence.)

But, there is a silver-lining here, folks! I realized I have never spent my itunes gift card my Mommy got me for Christmas. Since about 10 last night, I’ve been planning what songs I wanted to download and I thought of a whopping four in 5 hours. During which I spent staring at our ceiling fan, which reminded me I needed to dust that.

The four songs I downloaded:

1. Spoon – Underdog

2. Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man

3. Matisyahu – King Without a Crown

4. MGMT – Electric Feel*

*And don’t act like you don’t like that song. It’s awesomely trippy and borderline pornish. And that’s without drugs!

So here I sit, at 3:37 AM, listening to:

All along the western front
People line up to receive
She got the power in her hand
To shock you like you won’t believe
Saw her in the Amazon
With the voltage running through her skin
Standing there with nothing on
She’s going to teach me how to swim

All while bobbing my head.

Because that’s what sane people do at 3:39 AM.

Sing it with me now!

Said oh, girl
Shock me like an electric eel
Baby girl
Turn me on with your electric feel

I should probably make my grocery list for today. But you know what? I don’t feel like it and the song told me I don’t have to:

Do what you feel now! Electric feel now!

So I’m going to listen to my four songs and bob my head and wonder WHY IN THE HELL I’M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY TIRED.

Which reminds me of a common phrase in our house, “Bobbin’ it.” That’s when Claire wants to listen to Bob Marley.

She’s so cool.

And she knows most of the lyrics to “Three Little Birds.”

I need to think of more songs. I have lots of money to spend.

The problem with this is that I’m now a Pandora addict. I have about 10 stations, all within reasonable taste, and all varying on my mood.

I have The Black Keys Radio for when I’m cooking. Justin Timberlake for when the kids want to dance and Lady Gaga’s station is too sweary for their little noggins. Black Eyed Peas when I just don’t give a shit that there’s swearing. (And yes, I’m aware you can remove of explicits, as I did this last week.) Ray LaMontagne Radio for when I’m feeling mellow or eating dinner. David Grey Radio when I’m trying to relax. Mat Kearney for when I’m tired of David Grey (blasphemy!) or just sick of hearing John Mayer whine. Jason Mraz for anytime, because  really, any time is Jason Mraz time. And Fiona Apple when I’m feeling PC and chick pride.

Love Pandora.

Which brings us to 3:49. Wait, wait, 3:50.

I really need to think of new songs to download. I’m running out of things to do because my sewing machine is in our bedroom and I think that would upset Matt to see that his wife has gone completely manic. I’d be in there, rocking back and forth singing, “Stitch the lines, stitch it straight. Stitch the lines or it won’t be great.” (Which I totally just made up.)

3:52.

Go Steelers?

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on January 23, 2011, in Cassie and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. LOL I think it’s your body’s way of saying, get used to being up all the baby is coming soon!

    Maybe Carly should teach you to knit??

  2. Up all night that is.

  3. Normally I would do like my Dad does and prescribe Jack Daniels for your insomnia, but alas, that might be a tad taboo.

    (Dad prescribes Jack for everything, from stress to splinters to night blindness.)

    • Don’t worry, once I’ve sufficiently birthed this baby, completed nursing it (when it’s about 10 months old or so) and have my hot body back, I’ll be Jack’s new best friend. OK, maybe not. But a good Pinot Noir every once and a while would be AMAZING.

      Just saying.

  4. My complete lack of decent sleep did cause a major break down this week. There were lots of tears and unfair accusations at my husband about not caring enough. But after I cried for 20 minutes? I managed to sleep four full hours without waking up. And believe me, these days that’s an accomplishment.

    Not much longer before you have that little baby in your arms!

    • Oh, it’ll cause a lot of breakdowns. But that’s what’ll toughen up Mark’s skin. He’ll need it. Because come April, you’ll not only be sleep deprived but a human feeding trough. And despite how adorable the baby is, some days it just sucks. And it’s OK to say that.

  5. Oh, you poor thing. Insomnia is the WORST.

    I’m beginning to think I might be a pregnant woman trapped in a non-pregnant woman’s body.

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