I’ve had just about enough
Baby’s healthy, so for that, I should be very grateful. But if I could just feel better, even in the slightest, I’d be equally grateful.
I’m sure I didn’t drink enough yesterday, but the thought of peeling myself off the couch both nauseated me and left me weak at the knees even contemplating it. So I’m left with a headache that no amount of Tylenol in the world will rid of, a sore throat, achy joints and all around blah. Which of course – I can’t take anything for. And while I’ve been sick before, I’ve never been sick at 9 months pregnant, and I can honestly say, this is the worst. Because, emotionally, I’m getting my ass kicked.
I’m due in 15 days. 15. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I think. And what worries me most is that because I’m not in the best shape ever right now, I’m going to be instantly depressed after this baby arrives and left broken. And while I know that that’s just my hormones talking…I’m still listening to them. Which is equally scary.
I’m not crazy, I’m just sleep-deprived. And for no good reason.
And no one can help me, it’s just something I’m going to have to overcome eventually on my own. When my body decides that it wants to sleep. And I can handle that. I really, really can. I’m basically just fed up.
My kids deserve better than a TV babysitter. And that’s just what they’ve been getting while I’ve felt this way. And I know, I know, it’s just a few days, but still. I feel guilty. My head says, “Run! Play! Build stuff!” but my body says, “You do that, and I’ll torture you.”
It’s just a cold, seriously. But it is seriously kicking my ass. And I’ve had just about enough.
I work tomorrow. I have 4 shifts left. Only 4. And to call off if I’m still feeling this way tonight makes me sad. I like my job. And I like the thought of leaving my house, helping others, being Cassie. However – if being sick is bad, being 9 months pregnant trumps all. And of course – I’d listen to my body. I just hate letting others down.
Clearly, this is a rant of a tired person. And I’m super sorry if it’s slightly brought you down. If you need a good laugh, read Bachelor Girl’s Dog, Chihuahua’s rant over at her blog. It was a well-needed laugh for me yesterday.
And seriously, I’ll be fine. I almost feel better just having written this. So I guess it’s a good thing I have one of these blog things.