Why I should invest in a California King
It’s February. And it’s Pittsburgh. Yet, last night we had three thunderstorms that I think I’ll classify as one long one for posterity sake.
The very first loud thunderclap caused Claire to come running into our bedroom and suction-cupping herself to me. I get it – that’s scary. However, though out the course of the night, it started to become more and more like the most recent blog from Hyperbole and a Half.
There are things/sounds I love:
3. Oscillating fan
4. Dishwashers that aren’t named Cassie
Things/sounds I don’t like:
1. Getting punched in the face by a 3 year old. Repeatedly.
2. Claire talking in her sleep and actually carrying on a conversation with my sleeping husband.
3. Not getting sleep.
Maelie decided that 3:30 would be a wonderful time to poop. This made her so happy that she then decided to stay awake and enjoy the lightening show. Fine. Great. Whatever. So we went downstairs and googled stuff. Then we tried to sleep in the papesan chair. Then we stood in front of the sliding glass door and watched the weather. Then I got desperate and put on Ray LaMontagne, which is a sure-fire way to get Mae to fall asleep. Guaranteed. After some Hannah we had sleep liftoff and I went back upstairs.
Mae was back in her Amby bed and I turned to look at my bed and stopped.
Claire had taken over. So had Matt. I pushed Claire towards Matt and quickly climbed in. (We have a queen bed, FYI.) And just as quickly as I had shoved Claire over, she rolled back over and gave me a strong whomp to the face. Unintentionally, of course. This then turned into draping her legs over me. Then the drool began.
Oh, the joys of parenthood.
So this is why I should invest in a California King. Soon enough, Luca will be in a regular bed and will have access to bothering us during the night. (However, he sleeps like the dead.) Not to mention the California King is longer, therefore, the cats will have a place to sleep undisturbed. Hell, I may even let the dog up then.
No. Probably not. She smells bad.
And what’s up with that weather? I usually don’t invest too much time or energy into what the weather people say, but really? At the gym today – yes, the gym…WOO! – I went in wearing pants and a tee. When I left it was snowing. Now it’s 30 degrees.
Naturally, this warrants me to do what normal people do in 30 degree weather. I went to the store and bought Ben and Jerry’s. However, the kids wanted doughnuts. And since I was already driving this sugar train straight to no sleep town, I decided to feed them these treats 20 minutes before bedtime.
Yup. I’m that mother. Just today. But I’m that mother.
I have Maelie leaning up against my left arm all swaddled up, trying pathetically to fall asleep. She’s looking at me like I’m mean for bringing her into this madness.
Claire is topless, wearing a red flamed bike helmet with Matt continuously “pile driving” her into the carpet while Luca is getting thrown through the room onto the couch.
All the while, I can see their pupils have dilated to the circumference of their entire eyeballs. Almost reminds me of Japanese anime.
Sugar crash in 3….2….1…