Stuff my patients say

Gosh I missed work.

It’s Saturday! That means it was a work day! Let us catch up on the fun things my patients say, eh?

Last week:

Patient: You’re the most beautiful nurse I’ve seen in a long time. Every time you come in the room you make my heart flutter.

Me: You’re the one.

twenty minutes later…

Patient: So…um, my implanted defibrillator just went off while I was in the bathroom.

Me: So, I should probably stop coming in here, then, huh?

(He was fine, by the way. Just a brief malfunction.)

Today:

Me: Are you having any pain?

Patient: What?

Me: ARE YOU HAVING ANY PAIN?

Patient: Why can’t you talk?

Me: YOUR PAIN! DO YOU HAVE ANY?

Patient: I’m a pain?

Me: NOOOO! PAIN! ARE YOU IN ANY?

Patient: I didn’t think I was that much of a bother. I’ll try to stop.

Me: NO, DEAR! YOU’RE SWEET. BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE COMFORTABLE!

Patient: Oh hell. I’m a million years old. Who’s comfortable at that age?

…..

Patient: How ’bout them Buckies?

Me: You mean Buccos?

Patient: Oh shit. Can I claim stupidity on being old?

Me: You’re 67, sir.

Patient: Shit.

Me: Go Buccos?

Patient: GO BUCCOS!

(I’ll bring you more next week. My job never gets old.)

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on June 4, 2011, in Cassie and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Yay! I love the work stories!

    Good thing that 1st patient didn’t see your Nurse Pain jersey.

  2. At least it wasn’t a mean bunch. Nothing I hate worse than a mean, angry person at work.

  3. Even between you and Dr. Brandi, I can never get enough Crazy Patient stories.

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