The lady sitting next to me on my flight home yesterday said to me, “You’ll never meet a stranger in the South.” And how true that is.
As much as y’all want me to tell you who I’d now officially take in a divorce, instead, I’m going to write about how AWESOME the south was. Or South. I’m pretty sure that’s a capitalization. South. THE SOUTH.
Any who, I went. I saw. I ate.
Even better? I drank 151 guilt-free, mixed into a lovely strawberry concoction while using a ridiculously sharp Japanese knife and making dessert. In my warped mind, that’s what heaven looks like.
I already miss it.
Vacation to some is not vacation to me. I view vacation as doing absolutely nothing except for eating, sleeping, talking and seeing the sights. So aside from Maelie and her messed up sleep schedule, I did all of the above.
A list of things I saw:
*Braided beards and NASCAR tee shirts
*Chaps in Walmart
*Many, many bugs
*A woman washing her windshield by sitting on the hood of her car
*Purple shoes, plaid pajama pants and an amazing ‘fro all on one person
For the record, Sarah is adorable. Those photos don’t do her justice. The dimples, the high-pitched squeals, the HAIR! Love that kid. Now I feel like a really far away, no blood relation what-so-ever, a little quirky, auntie to her. That’s how cute she is.
Things I heard in the South? Really awesome accents. It was an accent party. None of them were obnoxious, too. Being as I’m used to the occasional yinzer accent, I was ready for a good Southern whopper. I must be immune.
Things I did in the South?
Ate. A lot. And it was good.
I was also introduced to the Drive-thru Daiquiri. Being from Pennsylvania, I had no idea such things existed. Seriously. According to wikipedia, Pennsylvania is an alcohol beverage control state. No shit, sherlock. We buy our wine and liquor at state owned Wine and Spirits stores and beer at beer distributors. We’re considered “highly restrictive.”
So. Going through a drive-thru for alcohol like I were going to get ice cream at DQ was freeing.
I almost felt, when I went through the airport in Pittsburgh, like I should scream, “I CONFESS! I PURCHASED AND DRANK ALCOHOL FROM A DRIVE-THRU!”
Because, seriously, if I wanted to, I could have bought a gallon’s worth. A GALLON. I mean, c’mon. My drink was made with real strawberries. That’s a great excuse. I’m being healthy.
For the record, we went with 20 oz. It was happy hour so it was buy one get one.
Personally, I wish I had ordered Wild Screw just so Mark would have to shout it to the lady taking orders. Though, she looked a bit rough around the edges and if anyone were to cause any issues, she’d just poke a sawed-off shotgun through the window.
So I just got Strawberry and stifled a giggle.
I had asked Jess what level of trashy we were going for. Was it super trashy: kids in the backseat and before 5 PM; moderately trashy: kids in the backseat; or high class: just adults.
We took the moderate route.
Then got buzzed.
The kids had a great time figuring each other out. (I personally think Mae, for the first time ever to me, looks like Luca in that photo.) They were both relatively good, with all things considered.
We dragged them to Walmart.
We dragged them to restaurants.
We dragged them to the river.
Then we dragged them to more restaurants.
Kelly’s baby shower was the main reason for me going down, though now that it’s done and paid for, it was just an excuse to get my butt down there. I’m so glad I did. Kelly’s nursery for Miss Harper is beautiful, though I expected as much. I was also super glad I got to see her all preggo. And despite what she may say, she is a beautiful pregnant woman. All belly and all up high. I can only imagine what her breathing must be like.
Also, their friends are amazing, too. Everyone kind, open, and easy to talk to. They all made me feel so welcome. I super enjoyed being able to talk to Susan about real life medical stuff and her stories are awesome. Plus she brought wine. And there were a lot of pregnant women around me. So I avoided drinking the water.
Staying with Jessica was awesome. She gets what I need in the baby aspect. A quiet room, privacy, and alcohol. Sure, one daiquiri and a glass of wine is all the alcohol I consumed, but still. She gets it.
Plus she let me bake for her. I love to bake.
Most of all, meeting Jessica and Kelly in person was like seeing them again after being a year away. It’s like I’ve always known them. We clicked and now I can finally call them my official real life friends.
Because they are great friends.
I can’t wait to go back.
And this time, consume more dessert. (Not desert, as I keep typing it.)