“When you’re happy like a fool, let it take you over. When everything is out, you’ve got to take it in.”
I have air in my lungs, a roof over my head and a smile on my face. I get up every morning, stretch and take stock – legs? sore. back? tall. head? clear. Good.
I pet the dog. I check my phone. I wash my face. I brush my teeth.
I say good morning to Claire. I give Matt a kiss. I hug the baby. I high five Luca.
When I have a moment to myself, I think about how life can be so simple. That sometimes the hardest thing I have to do in a day is sweat. Or attempt to reason with a toddler. Or bake bread.
And when I take it all in, it is just that simple.
I remember when I was in therapy in 2001, dealing with all my flaws an inability to just let go, my shrink said to me, “You don’t know this yet, but life shouldn’t be this hard.”
Spot on, sister. Spot on.
A few months ago, I heard the song, “Good Life” by One Republic. I sang along, since it’s so catchy and waited for the next song to come on.
Now, when I hear it, I get giddy. Because I’m just so dang happy. I’m so happy. I’ve spent the past 9 months patiently waiting for postpartum depression to creep up on me and render me useless, but it hasn’t. I continued to live my life as I would and still – nothing. I feel everything, good or bad. I don’t dwell on the bad, I revel in the good.
I did it. I turned around all the years of holding it in, then letting it out. From hurting myself, to loving myself. From depressed to so very, very happy.
This could really be the good life.
“Sometimes there’s airplanes I can’ t jump out
Sometimes there’s bullshit that don’t work now
We are God of stories, but please tell me
What there is to complain about?”