good life

“When you’re happy like a fool, let it take you over. When everything is out, you’ve got to take it in.”
-One Republic

I have air in my lungs, a roof over my head and a smile on my face. I get up every morning, stretch and take stock – legs? sore. back? tall. head? clear. Good.

I pet the dog. I check my phone. I wash my face. I brush my teeth.

I say good morning to Claire. I give Matt a kiss. I hug the baby. I high five Luca.

When I have a moment to myself, I think about how life can be so simple. That sometimes the hardest thing I have to do in a day is sweat. Or attempt to reason with a toddler. Or bake bread.

And when I take it all in, it is just that simple.

I remember when I was in therapy in 2001, dealing with all my flaws an inability to just let go, my shrink said to me, “You don’t  know this yet, but life shouldn’t be this hard.”

Spot on, sister. Spot on.

A few months ago, I heard the song, “Good Life” by One Republic. I sang along, since it’s so catchy and waited for the next song to come on.

Now, when I hear it, I get giddy. Because I’m just so dang happy. I’m so happy. I’ve spent the past 9 months patiently waiting for postpartum depression to creep up on me and render me useless, but it hasn’t. I continued to live my life as I would and still – nothing. I feel everything, good or bad. I don’t dwell on the bad, I revel in the good.

I did it. I turned around all the years of holding it in, then letting it out. From hurting myself, to loving myself. From depressed to so very, very happy.

This could really be the good life.

“Sometimes there’s airplanes I can’ t jump out
Sometimes there’s bullshit that don’t work now
We are God of stories, but please tell me
What there is to complain about?”

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on November 16, 2011, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 18 Comments.

  1. Deb K From Harrisburg

    This made me very happy to read. I can completely relate, after years of therapy and struggling with depression and other issues. You’re so lucky you have figured it out at your age; it took me until age 50 to put it all together! Have a wonderful day and thank you for bringing a smile to my day!

  2. Oh, man, I wish you were BachelorGirl or someone who has trolls so they’d all come out on this post to cut you down. But I guess I’m the closest you have to a troll, so . . .

    Knock it off, smileypants! Take it down a notch.

  3. What a wonderful reminder! Thanks for posting!

  4. Obviously the difference is that now you have a blog-based support system of people that love you, which prevents you from sinking into the blues.

  5. I love this! And I love the song. So happy that you’re happy! It feels so good to be happy. I’ve been feeling so thankful and happy lately myself. 🙂

  6. I just love that your responses say “Sent from my iPhone” – haha!

  7. I love this. It gives me hope too to know that next time around I may not have to battle PPD at all. Learning to let go seems to be the key.

    So glad things are wonderful for you!

    • Deb K from Harrisburg

      I had PPD with my first baby and not with my second baby. Like Cassie, I kept wondering whether it would happen. Amazingly even though life was more stressful caring for a three year old and newborn, all was OK. Just like both pregnancies being distinct, so was the experience after bringing baby into this world.

    • It truly is the key, Jess. PPD caused me to let go of everything with Luca, so I had to find a delicate balance.

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