Claireisms

She’s had some winners lately. Just this morning, Pandora was playing my latest favorite station, Vampire Weekend, and Kings of Leon came on. The song, “Sex on Fire” to be exact. And thank the good lord the lead singer’s voice is slurred with bourbon, because she said, “Mom. Why’s the desk on fire? Should we call the fireman?”

Here’s a short list of things she’s said lately.

Claire went and got two apples out of the fridge. She dropped one on the floor and said, “Sorry! I dropped your apple on the floor,” to which I responded with, “Um, don’t you mean YOUR apple?” and she said, “Sorry, I chose this one before it fell. But I’m sorry, because yours looks yucky.”

***

Claire: How old are you?
Me: I’m 27.
Claire: Oh man, you’re going to die soon.

***

Claire: “Hey Mama, can you break out the guns? This is stuck.”

***

Claire: That scared the hell out of me. Wait, I’m not allowed to say that, am I? Being a kid is so frustrating.

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on February 23, 2012, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I’m so glad you wrote these down. They are hilarious! I love that she told you to break out the guns.

  2. Such a doll.

    Re: the guns… At least she hasn’t asked you to “get that killer ass in here.”

  3. That’s fantastic. How old is she?

  4. I know I’m a prude, but I haaaaaaaaaaaaate that song. No song should ever include the word “sex”. Ever.

    Otherwise, KoL is one of my favourite bands.

    I think I want to have a kid just to hear her say this stuff, because parents are always claiming their kids say hilarious things, but all I ever hear is “goo-goo, ga-ga” when I hang out with them.

  5. I love these! The last one is my favorite! I hope I remember to write down the funny things Grayson will say so I can look back and remember them and laugh, and so I can have him read them one day.

  6. Number 3 is by far my favorite. Hopefully, by the time Harper is old enough to talk, I’ll have guns half as fine as yours. POW!

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