How Luca spent his third birthday: part one, the zoo
YES! He made it alive!
He’s three! He’s finally three!
Luca and Patchy McGoo got ready in a very timely manner, because, darnit, we had the zoo to get to. This was after, of course, I made him his birthday toast. (Which he proceeded to thank me for later in the day, clear out of the blue. “Thank you for my birthday toast, mama.” I died.)
Please note that Mae was in fact present during this trip, she, however, was strapped to the jogging stroller without much wiggle room.
She also had to be contained while I got the other two ready.
I know, I know. I’m such a mean woman.
But see, this is what happens when I let her be free:
Yay for oral hygiene, of course. But, yah.
We got there as the doors were opening which has many benefits, one being, hardly any annoying kids around with annoying parents pushing your kid out of the way.
Downside? Some of the animals’ homes are still being sprayed down, so no animal to see.
Here’s a tip: if you see a human inside the tiger cage with a hose in hand, 9 times out of 10, there won’t be a tiger in there at the same time.
But try explaining that to the adults who stood there looking and LOOKING for that damn tiger. It wasn’t until Claire said, “Oh, the tigers must be in a cage somewhere, otherwise that lady would get her head bitten off,” for them to realize that, DUH, tigers eat people.
So, instead, we got to pose with statues.
However, the spring bok are friendly enough, right?
Forget that, crap, guys. There were orange fish there. ORANGE FISH. Never mind the beautiful, graceful gazelle. There were cheap walmart fish.
Oh there we go, guys. Elephants were obviously much more interesting. Claire even wanted to be one.
We, of course, had to do the obligatory, “How tall are you compared to a newborn baby elephant,” height chart.
One day, Mario Lemieux will really be there.
(Side note. Did you know it was originally Ben Roethlisberger they had for height comparison, but after his whole “I didn’t rape that woman” debacle, they took it away? True story.)
See! Mae was there. She loved the elephants, even though she totally called them “Cau-Kitty” which translates to Cuddle Kitty, as our cat, Lila, is known as.
Then we went to the monkey house. Luca’s favorite.
Most of the monkeys were not in their cages, which was par for course at this point, but this monkey really liked people.
It was mislabeled as a Mandrill, and according to the signs about the Mandrill, they’re one of the meanest, most carnivorous monkeys alive.
This little dude here A.) didn’t look like a Mandrill and B.) was so stinkin’ sweet.
Oh hai, cute monkey.
Then, Claire with her map in hand, I let the beast free.
But when she decided the penguins were boring, she got contained again, once I found her near the blue lobster.
The polar bear was saying, “Eff this heat,” and chose to scrape at the door to his, probably, frosty den, so we headed straight to Claire’s favorite, the Sand Tiger Sharks.
She loves those things. Honestly, they’re creepy looking with their pale eyes and hundreds of teeth, but they just swim back and forth, and it’s almost calming.
Then they ran to the Sea Lions. My favorites.
I mean, who doesn’t love the Sea Lions?
Claire made sure to do her best Matt impression.
She totally nailed it.
Seriously. No comparison. Best part at the Pittsburgh Zoo, ever. Especially when they put on shows.
And then everyone got hungry, and it brought us to the 11 o’clock hour, at which time I had promised to have the girls dropped off at my mom’s house.
Luca and I had a lunch date to get to.