Being useful

For Matt’s birthday 7 years ago I bought him a surround sound system. Of course, now you can get state of the art surround sound systems for next to nothing and get wifi and wireless speakers. Oh, and automatic Pandora connections. But. We’re talking 2005, here.

So I did a lot of research and annoyed a guy on the phone for about 30 minutes at Best Buy as to what would be my, well, best buy. He suggested that with my price range, I could get a really descent Panasonic DVD home theater.

Then I went to and bought it.

I mean, the guys at Best Buy know their stuff but their prices are far too high.

It didn’t take long at all to set up, and because our TV was a tube style. Prior to HDTV and HDMI set ups and whatever the heck all that means, it was really only two or three AV cables and a lot of speaker wires. When Matt came home from work, he got two surprises: a surround sound system and the knowledge that his girlfriend was technologically savvy.

(We won’t talk about how I am now that technology is just annoyingly brilliant, OK?)

Today I finally got sick of the fact that we had a surround sound system, yet it didn’t surround us with sound. Due to the long layout of our living room, the only way to make the speakers work would be to either get wireless speakers, a converter or to run the wires under the throw rug.

I decided to save us 300 bucks and did the logical thing.

It took me about 30 minutes and lots of yelling at the kids. I mean, what is it with kids that when I sit on the floor, they automatically think I’m at their level for a reason. Hello! Working here.

First of all, three of the speakers weren’t working. So I had to strip down the wires and make sure not to electrocute myself. I mean, I’m pregnant and all. Finally, after vacuuming out all of the dust bunnies that collected behind the entertainment center, we were ready to test it out.

I told each kid to pick a speaker and listen. Six speakers later, we’re in business.

Right now, Franz Ferdinand is coming through loud and clear, and I’m surrounded in sound on my couch.

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty defeated. I’ve thrown myself multiple pity parties. In the matter of moments, a lot of things I love to do were taken away from me. And while I know it’s only temporary, it still stings. I spent the past two weeks in a pretty nasty depression. Well, nasty for me. Just feeling sorry for myself, thinking I’m losing the baby, losing my muscle mass, losing my sanity. I’ve just felt so fucking useless. And it’s 50% situation, 50% me.

I started to pull my head out of my ass just in time to get a super nasty cold, which set me back again. But today, feeling myself, I got it together and did something. I made bread, then sat. I cleaned the playroom, then sat. Then I rewired the surround sound, and sat.

And for the first time in two weeks, I finally felt myself again.

Baby’s still hanging in there.

That’s one tough ass baby.


About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on September 3, 2012, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Deb K from Harrisburg

    I know you are modifying your behavior and have pulled back on a lot of your regular activities, so this observation is simply pure admiration (and not at all critical) — even while you are reducing your activity level, you’re twice as productive as I am, honestly. Hope you continue to feel better emotionally, mentally and physically. And I think the allocation of %s associated with feeling lousy should be much higher toward the situation — like 99.5%. It is nearly impossible not to be worn down emotionally considering what you’re going through. I hope you keep blogging and letting us know how you are doing.

  2. I often cannot figure out a TV when more than one remote is involved. In fact, sometimes one remote throws me. So color me impressed.

    The last post I read was about the flea bomb and stinky cantalope (which apparently I cannot spell), and I thought I wrote a comment saying I have a dog named Sadie, but apparently I did not. Anyway, I can see I have missed a lot since then. I don’t even know what to say except hang in there. 🙂

  3. Glad to hear that you are staying useful. Do what you can, when you can, and try to find the silver lining in everything. This situation truly is out of your control…take comfort in that. There is comfort in it, if you think about it. I know it’s hard…trust me. Sending prayers your way all the time!

  4. I’m proud of you! I know this has all sucked so much for you. Here’s to hoping things keep getting better for you and CBEW. And if it doesn’t, Ett and I will pull you out of your funk when we visit NEXT MONTH.

  5. You’re such an amazing wife, Cassie! And mother! When you put your mind to something, there’s no stopping you! Jesus and the rainbows would be proud! Just kidding about that last part. It’s pretty rad that you did this, though. Please come to my apartment to do the same thing, ’cause Jack bought that TV tonight.

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