Judge not

Being a parent is hard. No matter if you work, stay at home, have one kid, ten kids, it’s hard. Your every day gets caught up and you yell irrationally; get frustrated easily; wish they’d just go to bed.

But yesterday, here in Pittsburgh, a little boy died when his mother lifted him up to see an attraction at the zoo, and he subsequently fell in and was then mauled by multiple dogs.

I have done that before. I’ve lifted my kids up to see the elephants better, or giraffes. How many kids ride on shoulders, try to climb up on the railings, or just get so frustrated because they’re so little? We’re human. We’re doing the best we can.

But how the social media has been slamming this poor mother is just disgusting. How dare they. This was a freak accident. It was awful. Those saying, “How could she just stand by and watch him be mauled?” “Why didn’t she jump in after him?” “Why did she lift him up?” “How did she let him fall?” “Why was she allowed to even have a kid in the first place?”

That just pisses me off.

Have you been in that situation before? Have you watched helplessly as your child, your sweet, kind, adorable child be eaten alive by dogs? Have you ever been in such a state of shock where you can’t move? Or worse, have you ever been held back by onlookers when all you want to do is save your kid?

Unless you were there, how do you know?

This is a tragedy. It’s a sick twist of life and it’s so very unfortunate. No one should judge that woman. She’s probably doing that plenty to herself. I have no doubt she’ll be haunted by this forever, not to mention the constant replaying in her mind of what ifs. Worse, I’m sure she wished she died instead of her baby.

I don’t even know the woman and it has haunted me for the past 24 hours since I read about it. It brings me to tears just thinking about it.

But these people who are judging that mother are no better than the pack of dogs that killed that poor boy. She knows what happened. She knows how it hurts. She knows. She knows all this. Stop. Please, just stop. Stop berating her and stop judging her. We are all damn lucky that that’s not us. That that’s not our kid or our nephew or our grandson. That our kids are safe and sound and not being ripped apart by dogs.

What happened happened. Now is the time to start to show some compassion and let that family grieve in peace.

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on November 5, 2012, in Cassie and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. This story makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me want to rock back and forth and sob hysterically. The mental images, the thought, the pain for this mother who is suffering so terribly. She isn’t to blame and like you said, she’s blaming herself. This is one of the saddest stories. I can’t keep talking about it because I literally can’t handle it. I told my husband things like this get to me so bad since having a baby. I just can’t bare the thoughts and images. My heart aches for her.

    • I completely understand, Ash. This just makes me sick. Physically ill. Since I’ve had Claire, Matt and I try to avoid watching the news simply because stories like these upset me so. It’s one thing when the story involves a parent duct taping their kid to the wall (which sickens me, of course) but this is a horrible tragedy and I can’t stop wondering how that mother is doing. I just want to hug her.

  2. I don’t have kids, but the first thing that came to my mind after reading your second paragraph was “That poor, poor mother. She will beat herself up for this for the rest of her life.” Somebody with kids can perhaps/probably understand better what horror this must be, but I think you don’t have to have kids to know that she must feel terrible. So no excuses for those who think this is the right time to blame her. I am sure there will be an investigation, and anybody who is not involved in this has no business judging her! I think it is dangerous for her mental health. I don’t know if you can ever find a way to lead even half a “normal” life after something like this has happened, but blaming her openly surely will not help her! As you said, it is time for compassion and time to let her grieve and try to find a way to deal with that traumatic and tragic event.

  3. We had a really terrible similar situation happen here with a dad leaving his child in a car in the parking lot all day due to a miscommunication with the mother and people climbed out of the woodwork to slam them. I can’t even imagine what that poor family is going through. It’s easy to judge, but harder to feel empathy. That’s such a horrible story.

  4. Thank you for saying this. I can’t even talk about this story. I was so horrified when I heard it, I couldn’t even imagine. And kudos on getting it in the PG. I hope it makes more people think before they tweet / judge.

  5. Okay, but I still get to judge them when they sue the zoo for $15 million, right?

  6. I hope one day I read that Elizabeth and Jason Derkosh have found happiness and peace together, inspired by their sweetpea, Maddox.

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