The time I married a 13 year old Korean

The last time I can remember dreaming I was maybe 7 months pregnant. I had been following my sleep progress with this awesome iPhone app called Sleep Cycle. Totally worth the 99 cents it cost at the time to download. It tracks your sleep, deep sleep and wakeful times. It’s scary accurate. It’ll tell you the quality of sleep you had and when your best/worst nights were.

I had never had a better than 75% quality for sleeping.

And no dreams.

The past two nights, however, I’ve been dreaming. And remembering what I’ve been dreaming about.

Last night, I married a 13 year old Korean in a ruse to secretly marry one of my high school boyfriends, and no, not the one I was with for forever and a day. Which is random. But anyhow. Back to my 13 year old.

Not really sure where he fit into the whole thing, but I remember running to my friend Kevin’s house, who was my neighbor growing up, and asking him to drive me in his white van to the church. The veil I was supposed to wear was a hockey mask decorated with awful fake silk flowers. I was supposed to wear my glasses, but in the end, I got my hair done nice and wore Matt’s contacts. (Yes, he was there.)

I ended up running down South Street in my wedding gown screaming “I’m not racist! I just don’t want to marry a 13 year old!” and ended up marrying my high school boyfriend.

I won’t lie, he looked hot in his suit.

Also, the Pittsburgh Mayor was there and was called a liar by the pastor.

Analyze that, man.

Two nights in a row of decent newborn sleep really pays off, because today I’m feeling normal and like how a mother with a newborn should feel. Not overly tired, but not 100%. I’m cool with that, because right now, my only job is to hold Miss Audrey while the kids fish out of a pot behind me and Matt attempts to get some work done. I can handle that.


About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on March 4, 2013, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. So glad you’re feeling better! I have an off topic question and am posting here because I lost your email. My son is turning 21 tomorrow (!) and we’re meeting him and 20 or so of his friends at the Hofbrauhaus Pittsburgh at 2705 South Water Street tomorrow evening. Any suggestions on where to order a cake that we can pick up around 6 pm as we roll into town? Thanks!

    • Which way are you rolling into town? If you’re coming from the turnpike, you could exit at the Allegheny Valley Exit, hit up Oakmont Bakery (BEST BAKERY EVER) and ride 28 into downtown.

      • At I posted my question/comment, I searched your site for bakery and found the link to Katie Ett’s post where she mentioned Oakmont and I’m going to order the cake from there! Thanks for responding so quickly. I’m coming from the other burg (Harrisburg) so it’s a little out of the way but I think it will work out just fine!

  2. Sending you best wishes, and so glad to hear that you got some rest. Sleep can be nature’s miracle cure!

    That bit in your last post about you might end up “feeling like a failure” really struck me. Would you feel like a failure if you had developed gestational diabetes? Would you feel like a failure if you had fallen out of the bed at the hospital and broken your arm?
    Like you said, PPD (nor PPI, for that matter) is not caused willingly. It has not a thing in the world to do with failure.

    Your husband is a smart and loving guy. Your older children sound really neat. You’ve brought into this world an adorable, healthy new little human being. That’s “success” that nothing can change.

    Again, all best wishes.

  3. Hah, nice bizarre dream!
    I am so glad that you got some sleep and feel better, and that picture is beautiful!
    Hope you get even more sleep and a lot of cuddles with Miss Audrey…

  4. That’s hilariously weird. Dreams are a good sign that you’re sleeping better though!

    And I think Audrey is sort of looking like Luca there. So cute!

  5. I think that actually happened to Kim Jong Un.

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