A healthy egoism

Last week a friend posted one of those photo quote thingies that I usually avoid ever reposting or posting in the first place, but it really spoke to me.

599069_430376437050095_1907050799_n (1)Also, last week, it was the first time I had taught RPM without Audrey in my belly. I posted a photo of myself with the caption, “Time for RPM, now with 100% less baby!”

164482_10151384591158791_301829969_nWhen I posted it, I originally thought to myself, this aughta be a change from all the belly shots I’ve posted in the past!

But, later I realized, it seemed more that I was all, look at me! I’m thin again!

Rest assured, that’s not how I meant it.

And further rest assured, I’ve got plenty of jiggle left to rid of. One doesn’t simply have a baby and then come back with washboard abs. I will, of course, work as hard as possible to get them back, but no, I do not have them yet. Gym clothes with a wide waist band are great for holding in the extra jiggle.

I got positive compliments, but I’m sure I got several eye rolls. Which is cool. There are times when someone will post a photo of themselves all cut and looking good and I get a twinge of jealousy. Or a fantastic race or run train time. Even that their kid is sleeping fantastic at night. Jealously comes from all different places, and I’m willing to admit when I feel it, which is more often than I probably should.

Truth be told, I worked my ass off my entire pregnancy to be able to be where I’m at physically. But I was reminded that I still have a long way to go, as I was groaning on the RPM bike last week, a friend said to me, “Yah, it’s hard getting back into it, isn’t it?” All that comment made me do was add a whole lot more resistance and push through.

It’s not going to happen overnight. I know this. I did, however, keep myself in check for the nine months I was pregnant because I knew that I wanted to have a leg up when March came around. Is it for every pregnant woman to do what I did? No. Is it realistic? Hardly. But I did what I wanted to do and I’m on the other side feeling pretty good about myself.

Is that a healthy egoism? Well if that isn’t, then I don’t know what is.

When I see someone post their fantastic run time, I check myself and then remind myself that I’ll get back there. I reevaluate where it’s coming from and tell myself that yes, I had a baby, but also, I am me, not them and I can only do what I can do.

Am I proud of where I’m at right now, almost 3 weeks postpartum? Yes. Yes I am. Did I earn it? Hell yes.

That is to love myself.

Now to overwhelm you with photos of the baby.

My squish face…

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Finally awake…

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Perfection.

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on March 18, 2013, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Betty shellhamer

    Audrey is so lovely what a perfect fit with your family. Enjoy all the photos feel like I have watched them grow.

  2. Well, you do look great! I would be proud too. And can I tell you just how much I wanna squish her face (gently and lovingly, of course)?!

    It is human nature to compare. When I was your age (I can’t believe I just wrote that!), I did it a lot more. But as my kid got older and I neared my 40s (which I am firmly in now), I decided if I am doing the best I can (most of the time, anyway), then that is what matters most, not how or what everyone else is doing.

    Rock on, sister!

  3. I think that’s the key. Every person is different, and everyone has monumental goals for themselves, even if their end goal doesn’t compare to someone else’s. With all that’s going on in my own pregnancy, I’ve had to take a step back, listen to my doctors and learn that right now, staying on top of my walking, moving as much as possible during the work day, and spending time with my daughter is my end goal for the moment, and I’m meeting that goal with enthusiasm. Though I do look forward to, many months from now, getting back on the bike.

    You look amazing and you earned it. Don’t feel bad for that!

    p.s. Squishy face!

  4. You have earned bragging rights! You look amazing and you worked hard for it. You worked hard your entire pregnancy while most women lay on the couch and expect everything to be done for them, they gain to much and complain. You kept active, healthy, and if they can complain about what they’ve done – certainly you should brag about what you’ve done.

    Also, the wide awake picture is amazing. You should already list that as one of your choices for your drawing of her. 🙂

  5. You know what they say, “It’s not bragging if you back it up.” You did the work, you get to reap the benefits. Who gives a fig what anyone else says (or thinks)?

    Rock it, Sister.

  6. Nice job. Now if only I could give birth to my belly.

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