bully

Guys, you’ve been reading me long enough to know what Claire’s like. I’m not one to sit here and claim all my kids are perfect. Not by a long shot. I tell it like I see it. But in a general sense, Claire is a good, kind, sweet kid. She’s also quiet and the perfect target for a bully.

Just writing that last sentence makes me want to throw up.

I think Claire’s being bullied.

Again.

A few days ago she casually mentioned that a girl on the bus pinched her. I asked her if it was an isolated incident. She said no. She said the girl is verbally mean to her and when she asked her for an apology for pinching her, the bully simply ignored her and pretended Claire didn’t exist.

Bitch, please.

I was about ten seconds from driving out to the general area of where this kid lives and knocking on every door until I found this brat. But I kept it cool, because Claire is very perceptive and would feed off my anger.

She instantly felt guilty. Like she did something to deserve it.

Sweet, Claire. You did nothing wrong.

Apparently this girl puts her little arm through the crack against the windows and pinches her that way. Claire now has to position herself so that this little brat can’t reach her. She apparently tried again today, but Claire caught her before she could pinch.

When I was a kid, maybe 7 or 8? I was bullied on the school bus. I remember exactly who it was, too. But, because the majority you reading this went to high school with me, I’ll keep the names to myself.

Anywho, the two people who bullied me would pull out my hair, one strand at a time. Even thinking about it now, it makes me sick to my stomach. Why would anyone want to do that to me? I always wondered that. I was quiet on the bus, and they were in the same grade as my sister, but Carly knew nothing of it at the time. I’m pretty sure she would have stuck up for me if she had known. Either way, I never spoke up. Ever. I don’t even think I told my mom or dad. I just sat there, day after day having my hair pulled out, tears rolling down my face, until finally they got bored with me and picked on someone else.

Yes, I’m pissed off that some six year old miscreant thinks it’s OK to bully my kid. Moreover, I’m pissed that she could be bullying someone else, too.

Why Claire? Because she wears glasses? Because she’s quiet? Because she’s so nice? Because she’d never fight back because she knows better? What?

I want to shake this kid. Really badly.

But for now, I’m taking the parenting approach, which is email the principal, wait to hear back. Possibly call her parents. If all else fails, I’ll step on that bus first thing in the morning, call her out LOUD AND CLEAR for all the kids to hear, that that girl is mean. I have no shame. But that’s only a last ditch effort.

Personally, I don’t think it would ever come to that, and I’d hate to embarrass Claire, but I’ve been told I’m a “scary mom” from several of the kids who go to the gym daycare simply because I don’t put up with shit. No, you small child, you don’t get to push that kid, make him cry, then get away with it. I don’t care IF your mom isn’t here. I’m going to tell you what’s up.

And if I catch you throwing that ball one more time when there’s babies on the floor crawling, I’m going to find your mom and you get to tell her why I put you in time out.

Now get off my lawn.

So I have a feeling my last ditch approach would be quite effective. (Seriously, though. I won’t do that, because that’s kind of being a bully is it not?)

She’s in kindergarten. If she was older, I wouldn’t intervene directly. I know she has to learn to fight her own battles and up until now, she’s held her ground, but she’s starting to cry over it. So it’s not getting better. This is where I have to show her that I won’t tolerate someone treating her poorly. Claire, bless her heart, has done everything she can do to try to get the girl to stop. Now I have to be the mom and make sure it stops.

Claire has assured me multiple times that it’s, “not that bad,” but she starts to tear up, so I know it’s getting to her. She doesn’t usually complain, so now I need to be the mom.

I got this.

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About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on September 25, 2013, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Grrrrrrr, this makes me so mad!!!!!! I was bullied on the school bus, too, and I also remember who it was. You have to tell me who yours was sometime!!!

  2. Grrrr.. Makes me want to climb on that bus and start tossing bodies over my shoulder until I find the little shit that’s bothering your sweet little girl. Feel free to use that image as a guide.

  3. You know, there’s someone we graduated with that I could never stand, and I’m just realized it was because she was a total bully to me in elementary school…I guess I just never called it “bullying” because when we were little the word “bully” wasn’t all the rage like it is now. I was trying to figure out why “bullying” is such a hot topic now, and I realized it’s because nowadays, if someone humiliates you, they do it on the internet, and that shit is forever. At least my fifth grade self didn’t have to deal with that.

    It’s all good for me, though, because my bully got fat and ugly, the very words she used to call me. Meanwhile, my life is pretty awesome.

    • Omg. Now I want to know who! People suck. Plain and simple. Some people just have to make others feel so small so that they feel tall. It’s sad, really.

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

  4. I had someone hassle me for months on the bus. I was probably 12 at the time and super nerdy. One day the person hit me in the neck. I punched said person in the forehead. Hard. I’d never hit anyone before in my life. I just snapped.

    Of course I was reprimanded, but due to the history of the situation, the other person was never allowed to ride the bus again. Dropped out of school at 16 if I recall correctly.

    So there’s that.

  5. Oh Claire. It’s always the nice ones who get bullied, because the bullies know they are too kind to fight back. I hate that she has to deal with this, especially when school is still so new. I know you’ll handle it the best way you can Cassie.

  6. Oh, this makes me so mad – and sad, too. I hate that your beautiful, kind, sweet Claire has to experience something like that, and the worst part is that it is getting to her in that “I made something to deserve that” kind of way. No Claire, you don’t deserve that. Nobody does.
    It makes me really sad that some people like to humiliate others. I mean, we are all human beings and fallible and probably every single one of us has, at times, hurt another person. But: doing it on purpose, again and again? Who does that, and why? That just sounds so evil and I can’t wrap my head around it. Makes me doubt if humanity can ever change.
    The only positive thing I see in all that is that she has YOU as her mother. You will find the right way to manage this bullshit, you will be able to contain your anger in order to find the best solution for Claire and you will make sure that she really knows and understands that it is not her fault, that she deserves to be loved and treated respectfully. She is lucky in that.

    Phew. Rant over. (Sorry.)

  7. You’ve read my blog, so you know that Kate dealt with bullying issues last year. It’s so important that she trusts you to help her. she is looking to you for guidance, not just to step in and solve the problem. You’ve already given her the tools to start: asking the girl to stop, moving away etc. Going to the “authorities”, in this case the principal, is the next step. Good luck.
    I’m dealing with a similar issue with Flora and a boy in extended day this year. I haven’t had to go to the principal yet, but I keep checking in with her.
    If we show our kids we are on their side, and we support them in their efforts to continue to be kind AND stand up for themselves, we will create responsible adults who won’t be doormats. Keep it up! 🙂 And good luck. It suck having to deal with it.

  8. I’m glad I’m just now reading this after it’s all been resolved because I felt my blood boil as I made my way through it.

  9. Mr. Julian Courtenay Oakley

    I was bulled in secondary school someone pushed me off a climbing frame once when I was about 5 or 6 years old

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