Help a mother out?

Last month I started physical therapy for an ongoing issue I have with my knee. It’s been since I was 14, so it’s not a big deal.

Anyhow, I chose the physical therapy group that is out of the building my gym is at so that I could have the kids go to the daycare while I got stronger. The daycare ladies don’t mind, in fact, after I ran the marathon two years back, they watched the kids while I went to the grocery store because I was walking so slow.

Last week when I dropped the kids off at daycare, I passed by the front desk and smiled at Molly (who is probably almost 80,) as I always do, and walked upstairs to therapy. No big deal.

When I picked up the kids, Karen (the main daycare lady) said to me, “Hey, for some reason daycare stopped being charged every month to your account, so if you could later, just pay me for the month.” Embarrassed, I told her of course I would, and apologized. Karen told me that it wasn’t a big deal and that of course I was good for it. She felt bad she even had to tell me, since she’s literally watched the kids grow up – we’ve been going there that long. She then leaned in and said, “It wasn’t a big deal until Molly got nebby.”

I, of course, felt terrible that I hadn’t paid for the month and it was a week in, but worse, I hadn’t paid last month, apparently. The next day I dropped by money for both the past month and the recent month and that was that. The office apologized for the error, and they made sure it was fixed.

Until today.

I dropped the kids at daycare, and saw that Karen was running late. No big deal. I sat on the floor with the girls and started to play with Dora figurines while Luca played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the Innotab.

That’s when Molly came in and gave me the third degree.

Molly: Is Karen here?
Me: Not yet, it’s OK. I can wait.
Molly: Are you teaching today?
Me: Not today. I have PT.
Molly: Did you pay for the daycare to watch them while you go to therapy?
Me: Yes. Last week.
Molly: How much?
Me: (wide eyed) 25 dollars. (That’s how much I’m supposed to pay.)
Molly: (clearing her throat) Oh. OK. Well, I have to check with Dave. I guess I can just sit in here.

At this point I was pissed. She’s always been so rude to me, for all the years I’ve gone there. Given me a hard time about Audrey crying, heck, giving me a hard time when Claire used to cry back when she was just a baby. So I decided to play her little game.

Me: No. No you don’t need to inconvenience yourself. I’ll take them upstairs with me. I’ll just grab this toy for Mae to play with and I’ll make sure to bring it back. Let’s go, guys.

And upstairs we went.

Can I just say how difficult it is to do PT with three kids? They surprisingly did so well. Luca played his game, Mae played with her Dora figurines and Audrey chewed on stuff. But that’s beside the point. The point is, she didn’t need to give me such a hard time. She made me feel like a common criminal. She’s a mother, too. I’m sure there has been a point in her life where she didn’t have anyone to watch her kids and she needed to do something for herself.

I feel burdened enough asking them to watch the kids so I can do something for myself. But I pay for that service.

After therapy I walked back to the daycare so the kids could get their coats. As soon as I walked in, Cindy (the other daycare lady) asked me what the heck happened. She said she was going to come up and grab the kids, but didn’t know if I wanted her to.

When I told her, she looked at me appalled and said, “She’s such a…” you get the point. Yes. She was. She had no reason to treat me so poorly. After Cindy made me tell Karen the story, Karen agreed and said to let it roll off my back. Cindy told me that I’ve always been too nice to her, and I probably shouldn’t be.

I said, “I just…I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like I should be ashamed. It’s not fair.” And near tears, we left.

For the first time, possibly ever, I didn’t respect my elders. She didn’t deserve it. I could have said something to her, and put her in her place, but that’s not me. Instead, as we left, she said, “Bye kids!” and then, because she knew I was pissed and near tears, she said, “Bye, Cassie.”

I just looked straight forward and walked out.

About Cassie

Two sisters from two misters. What could be more fun?

Posted on January 15, 2014, in Cassie. Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. I strongly disagree with the response to allow this to roll off your back. I know you work there. I would suggest a 24 hour pause (my rule when I’m in the red zone). But I think someone in management needs to talk to Molly or perhaps you can when you are up to it. It’s not like it’s going to hurt your relationship or anything with her. But I would ask her if there is something troubling her about you that she would like to let you know about because she seems to have gone out of her way to be unpleasant to you and you don’t know why and “it hurts my feelings.” Just like you teach your kiddos, standing up to a bully is the right thing to do, and not allow her to get the best of you! Can I tell I’m in the red zone on your behalf????

  2. I agree with Deb K. Something about you is bugging Molly, and she’s being passive-aggressive about it. As she’s not in charge of the daycare, or directly responsible for watching your children, I’m not sure why she’s being so nebby. If you don’t want to confront her, you can ask Karen or Cindy to ask her, nicely, to leave you alone. And just leave it at that.

    I’m sorry this happened to you, Cassie. You’re right that she’s a mother too, and has needed “the village” (as I call our support systems) at some time. But she’s judged you for something, or her memory is short. Good luck.

  3. “Nebby” may be my favorite Pittsburgh word of all time.

    But more to the point, do you want Molly to meet up with an accident? I know people.

    (OK, I don’t really, I just like to feel like I’m helping.)

  4. Sounds like she needs a career change. She doesn’t like crying kids or people using a
    service for kids ! Management needs to tell her to stay at the front desk and they will
    handle the rest.

  5. What Deb said. I don’t know who Molly is or who she thinks she is but she is very.much out of line. Karen should have told you she’d talk to Molly. Sounds like she’s afraid of her or intimidated too. You can talk to her, but if that doesn’t help or if you’re too upset it’s Karen’s job. She is aware of the situation and she should be handling it…not telling you to get over it so she doesn’t have to.

    It’s not that Molly is in the wrong profession….it sounds like she’s passed the point where she should be working at all. With anyone. Nevermind in a position where she deals with the public on a regular basis.

    You are awesome and much loved. Molly knows that and chooses to hate you for it. Thats her problem. Ignore the hell out of her. Her “bye Cassie” knowing you were upset by her remarks isn’t that unlike….neveind. I wont go there. She’s abusive. Degend yourself. Don’t let her bully you because she’s older.

    We love you. This is not you. This is all her.

  6. i like how the one lady (is she is charge?) said to let it roll off your back. Is this how “nebby” Molly treats everyone? If so, the highest in command needs talked to. Most of the time, I just completely ignore people like that, they eventually move on when they know you can’t be bullied.

  7. Oh, I hate it that this happened to you!!!
    I so know how you feel when you say you already felt burdened enough to ask them in the first place – it is not easy for me, too, to accept help. But the thing is: you did ask, and the two ladies who are concerned agreed, and by what you tell they love your kids and you and see no problem whatsoever with watching your kids, and that should be it!
    I really really hope that Molly realizes she went too far with this one and that she leaves you alone, or, if that is not the case, that the other at the gym step up for you.
    And I love that you did not respond to her saying “Bye Cassie”! It is not easy to do so, but she really deserved it!

  8. Sweet little old ladies, my ass. I’ve met more busy-body, gossipy old bats than I care to recall. Just because they’re old doesn’t automatically make them good people. If she was a bitch, you should complain. Seriously. I mean, don’t you work there for crying out loud? Ugh. Maybe I’m just hormonal, but this whole situation rubbed me the wrong way. Thumbs down, Molly. Thumbs down.

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