To blog or not to blog?
A million years ago when I started this blog, I wrote mostly short bits about my day. At the time, I had just one kid and she was up to her normal shenanigans and it wasn’t a big deal.
But now I’m entering into the world of older kids. I now have to ask myself, often, would I want someone to post that about me?
You know how sometimes you’re out and there’s a group photo and you think you look awful, and it gets posted on facebook and so you quickly go online and untag yourself from the photo, because OMG no, but it’s still out there?
That’s how I feel about my kids anymore.
If you haven’t noticed, I haven’t been posting as much here, or even as much on social media. Not like I used to.
Just today I posted a photo of Luca with his eye all swollen up from being stung by a wasp, but before I did, I asked him if it was okay. He said, “Yah mom, I want people to see how tough I am.”
But had he said no? I wouldn’t have.
I have to remind myself that at some point they’re going to be adults and just like when you were 14 sitting on your couch with your new boyfriend and your mom pulls out the baby book and shows them pictures of you and your sister in the bathtub and all you want to do is curl up in a corner and die, someday someone could look up those photos of my kids and hold it against them.
It all changed when I posted a photo of Claire and she saw, when looking over my shoulder, and politely asked me to take it down. So I did. And that’s when it hit me. It’s not like 10 years ago when you’d walk around with photos in your wallet and show it to people. It was the same portrait, professionally taken, or at least flattering, but it was the same photo, in a wallet, not all over the internet.
In general, I’m torn. I mean, the internet isn’t going anywhere. You can google me. You can find my address, some old high school news stories (if you know my maiden name) and also any time I’ve written letters to the editor. It’s all out there for the world to see, if they so choose to find it. Does it freak me out? Sometimes. But I’m not going to live my life scared or sheltered.
But my kids aren’t me, and they get to make their own decisions, with my help. Now, when Luca wanted me to post a picture of him dancing around in his underwear, I did tell him that, no, not gonna happen. He’ll thank me later for that.
So, I guess, like all things, this blog will evolve back to more about me and the things I do, and less about my kids unless it’s relatively benign. I feel as though, in the past, when I’ve written about my kids’ struggles, it’s been beneficial to reach out and hear from other peoples’ experience, but at the same time, some little asshole could read about it (or worse, their parent) and use it against them. I don’t want to create fodder for bullies. My neighbor had given me sound advice when she said, “Don’t ever put your kid’s struggles out there in a public format for the world to see, because you don’t know what jerk is sitting back waiting to use it.”
Or college recruiters.
Trust me, I’ve got enough stuff going on to take up plenty of space, but for now I’ll just say that it’s so hard figuring out what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to navigating the internets. I want to share parenting struggles, but I want to protect my kids’ privacy, so what can you post and what shouldn’t you post?
But hey, I’m a 31 year old mother of four kids. I do the best that I can, when I can, how I can, and drink wine as needed along the way. The rest will just have to figure itself out.